*Ahem* I would like to preface this post by saying that the Girlfriend and I have been playing a little too much Android: Netrunner lately... (Read FANATICAL OBSESSION)... In fact, it feels almost like the world of Netrunner and our own world have become one.....
LOOKING FOR WEALTH AND ADVENTURE? SEARCHING FOR THE JOB THAT WILL CHALLENGE AND REWARD YOU? WHY NOT JOIN AN EVIL CORPORATION?
there comes a time in every person's life when joining an evil
corporation is both a goal and a dream. When you must take control of your future and destiny and invest it multi-planet domination. But
although exciting, this time can also be stressful and confusing. For
you must answer the most difficult and significant question
you will ever face. Which evil corporation should I join?
THAT'S WHERE WE COME IN
right. We here at Games Reviewed by Lesbians have spent years mulling
over the scientific research, studying personality archetypes, and
profiling the leading evil corporations of today. And we have pooled our
knowledge and expertise into THIS QUIZ. Merely answer 7 SIMPLE
QUESTIONS, and tally your score, and behold you will find which
corporation suits your persuasion.
1. WHICH OF THESE ANIMALS BEST DESCRIBES YOU?
A) A bonsai venus fly trap
B) The deadly hippopotamus
C) A bird of prey
D) A mosquito carrying malaria
2. IF SOMEONE WERE TO WRONG YOU, YOU WOULD?
A) Burn them. Burn them good. Then dance on their ashes. Then sell those ashes.
B) Leak their phone number, address, and computer information to 1 billion telemarketers.
C) Create a custom designed German engineered flawless killing machine. With a trendy evil laugh.
D) Put piranhas in their toilet bowl, plague of locusts in their pantry, that kind of thing.
3. YOU SPEND YOUR SPARE TIME...
A) Playing tag with the neighbours kids. You ALWAYS win.
B) Counting other people's money. One for you, one for me...
C) Cultivating your garden. Your very safe garden.
D) Spare time? What spare time? *drilling noises*
4. WHAT WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL FIRST DATE?
A) Twins. Both Marilyn Monroe. And when you're done, you can sell them on.
B) The night would never end...until you've completed your agenda...
C) Sitting back and taking in some TV. With maybe some subliminal advertising about your charms...
D) Relaxing on your own private island (you got it cheap from some dictator guy)
5. WHAT ARE YOUR LONG TERM GOALS?
A) Universal domination.
B) Universal domination.
C) Universal domination.
D) Universal domination.
6. WHICH OF THESE PROVERBS BESTS DESCRIBES YOU?
A) "He that is rich will never be called a fool."
B) "The man with the boots does not mind where he places his feet."
C) "Even a small thorn causes festering."
D) "A lie travels round the world while truth is putting his boots on."
7. WHICH OF THESE COLORS IS YOUR MOST FAVORITE?
GREAT! TIME TO SCORE.
Keep a tally of J, N, H, and Ws according to the answers you picked!
1.a) J b)W c)H d)N
2.a) W b)N c)H d)J
3.a) N b)W c)J d)H
4.a) J b)H c)N d)W
5. Well done, you are now certifiably evil!
6.a) W b)H c)J d)N
7.a) H b)J c)N d)W
TIME TO CHECK YOUR RESULTS!
MOSTLY Hs? JOIN HAAS-BIOROID!
are a techno-whiz who knows their way around a spanner and a neural
network. You are the kind of person to never call something
"impossible". Or "unethical." Truly possessing a spirit of equality, you
believe that the development of software bioroids is great way for
humans and AI to get together, have fun, and incur mild brain damage.
Yes, you truly are the spirit of effectiveness, and reliability. And
what's the other one again....
MOSTLY Js? JOIN JINTEKI!
nature lover who doesn't discriminate between the arbitrary categories
of "original" and "clone," you are an ambitious salesman whose outlook
looks beyond your home planet. Always fishing around for new research,
sales opportunities seem to simply get caught in your net.
and agile like the genetically modified plants you love, you always have
another trick up your sleeve. And another trick behind that. And behind
that trick..., well that would be telling, wouldn't it?
butterfly? You're a social swarm of butterfles! Your natural charm
combined with your photoshopping skills seems to woo the information out
of people. In front of the camera or behind it, you're always the one
who knows the good gossip. And good blackmail and extortion material. A
trend setter with a flair for drama, you not only have your finger in
all the pies, you have your face in all the kitchens.
and destructive is your middle name! Ambitious, mercantile, and a
natural diplomat and pyromaniac, you've seen parts of the world that
don't even appear on standard atlases. Since a young age, you realized
it never pays to be too attached to any one thing. Instead, it's better
to be in the finance department of everything. A great philanthropist,
you are not too far above helping those to whom no one else will extend a
helpful hand. Like genocidal dictators. And corrupt government